Entry One (Two)

I wrote this long and rambling blog a couple of days back and then I guess blogger crashed and it is no longer in existence. Even my blog name & title are gone. So I guess I will try to regroup and start over again. So my life as a so-called aspie rises from the ashes.

I am starting a blog because I don't want to write everything in facebook notes because I have too many fb friends. This will all be explained in due time.

You see, my bf of 7.5 years has been telling me things like, "you are so autistic" or "you have Asperger's!" for some time now. As he works with adults with developmental disabilities and delays, he is around people of this nature on a daily basis. I have spent equal amount of time blowing him off and thinking that I am simply "random" or "a little off".

Then I had an incident with a friend that got me thinking. I had taken this "do you have Asperger Syndrome (AS)?" (not the exact title) quiz and scored a 37 out of 50 on it. And that was me being very generous with my answers. When I took it over and answered the questions more truthfully, I had a 46. So after the aforementioed episode, I came home and started delving into the world of AS. I did quite a few online quizzes and tests and failed/passed (depending on one's viewpoint) each one... Uh-oh.

Then I began reviewing my adult life and childhood to see if there were signs. Uh-oh again... Rather than go on and on and on (which is something an aspie loves to do) I will give you a few quick bulleted points. Because bullets are just so nice and to the point.

• Friends: I have to admit that as a child most of my friends were the children of my parents' friends. I never really thought about why that was because rather than spending time with friends, I was spending time in my room or the library reading things like encyclopedias or phone books or directories or anything non fiction. Not in a sad and lonely way, more of a "leave me alone because I am doing what I like" sort of way.
• Obsessions: The typical cliché about AS is that people who have it have one or two obsessions. Well my number one is cars but there were/are many others. I have been able to tell every car on the road since I was two and half-ish. I can only remember back to around three so this is information I have gleaned from stories told by relatives. I do remember knowing every car on the road at three and four. In any case, I love cars (and not classic cars or sports cars or luxury cars or SUVs or trucks. Simple passenger cars, thank you). I loved planets, dinosaurs, earthquakes, volcanoes, the flow of traffic, phone numbers, area codes, zip codes, census figures, pop charts, maps and so on. Not that I lost interest in any of these as an adult. I have long learned that almost no one else has the obsessive interest that I do so I quit waxing poetic about the NANP (look it up) long ago.
• Know-it-all: Or as I told my bf and friend "I do know a lot but I don't know everything". I am not a genius. Far from it. But there are things that I know everything about and I always thought that people like to know everything about every single thing in the world. However being wikipedia with speakers is how I think others may see me, for better or for worse. Usually for worse.
• Rude: I have never been considered subtle. I either tell it like it is or have to bite my tongue and say nothing. Even when I try to fake being nice, it is just... fake. When people ask me what I think, I tell them because why else would they be asking? So it came as a shock when I learned that when someone's outfit makes them look awful, it's perfectly fine to say it looks good. When I tell people I may be an aspie and use this an an example, the usual response is, "But that is what I like about you, you tell it like it is!"
• Food: I have lots of friends who are "foodies" and like to try all different kinds of foods. Or worse, share. I have to admit I am pretty open to trying new things. And when I find a new thing I like... well look out. If I were single, I would have no problem eating Top Ramen or Asian food or Indian food every single day of the week or month. It's not that it is so "comforting" but it is just that eating food is a sensory experience that is a bit much at times. One weird texture, smell, taste or unsightly aspect of food can really put me off. This is why dark meat of chicken does not pass my lips. Or raw onions. It's also why when I go to fast food places, I usually get the same exact thing. Or just don't like to eat at certain places (Chick-Fil-A... YUCK!). I have always hated sharing food as well. I mean sharing a bite or even portions that are specifically divided is fine. Grabbing a "bite" off of my plate is not.
• Smells: Smells bother me. A lot. I don't like perfume/cologne. I don't like a lot of air freshener. I really hate the smell of cigarettes, pot, old cars (gasoline) or diesel. Ugh. It's not that, "oh that smells bad" but it's an intense feeling that makes me get a headache.
• Patterns: I see patterns in lots of things. Maybe this is why I like 80's electro music so much. It is very patterned on a drum machine and sythesizer and nothing like live music (which I hate with a passion).

I could go on for days/weeks/months but these and more will be topics of discussion in future blog entries. Watch this space.